“SELF” is about our internal workings. Things you can’t touch or see – only feel.
- Values – This is your core; who you are. Attributes, things, actions that you hold as very important that propels you forward in life.
- Energy – A dynamic quality – stimulated by many things and the affects of those things can be a “pickup” or “drain”.
- Feelings – The broad range of our emotions. How we feel about the things around us. Our internal perspectives and reactions to things.
This is bigger then what we traditionally know as “values”. Most people define values along the lines of: God, Faith, Family, Kids, Friends, Education, etc. Namely, a value of what is important to us in life. This VALUE is talking about what is important to YOU, that which makes you tick.
- What is most important to you?
- What do you value most?
- What drives your decision making?
- Step 1: Think about a time (moment, hour, day, period) of your life when things were great and seemed to be going right. Where you felt good about your life and enjoyed it. You felt fulfilled. Maybe you would describe this time as a “peak experience” or a “peak time” of your life. List the values present in that situation. (i.e. I was: laughing, learning, with good friends, successful, creating something, challenged, etc.)
- Step 2: Think about a time in your life that you were very out of sorts, falling apart or just not in line with how you wanted things. It was maybe one of the hardest times of your life. What was it that made this the worst time? (i.e. I was: out of control, trapped, alone, confused, accused, attacked, overwhelmed, bored, etc.)
- Step 3: What are your “must haves?” Make a list. Beyond food, shelter and community; what needs do you want in your life to be fulfilled? Adventure? Partnership? Accomplishment? Nature? Try not to judge your values (thinking, “oh, I need to include that) – just go with what is really important to you.
- Step 4: Look for the themes. What came up a lot? Which traits had the opposites present (i.e. +Freedom: -No control).
- Tip. Don’t limit yourself to one word. Use whatever describes it best for you.
- Example: My core values are Direction (purpose), Being Authentic to my heart & soul (who God made me), Positive Energy and Meaningful connection with people.
- Where do you get your energy from? People, self, etc.?
- How are you motivated? Rewards, punishment, etc.?
- What inspires you?
- What is your “magic” time of the day? (Time when you have most “productive” energy)?
- What rejuvenates you?
- What environment do you work best in? Outside, inside, dark, light, etc?
- What gets you moving in a way your have overflowing energy? Music, people, new ideas, reading, nature, etc.?
- What feelings describe you when you are “up”?
- What feelings describe you when you are “down”?
- What feelings describe your general way of life?
- What affect does positively charged feeling (happiness, joy, excitement, etc.) have on you?
- What affect does negatively charged feeling (anger, disappointment, sadness, etc.) have on you?
- What things affect your feelings?
- What “state” do you want to spend more time in?
Tangibles are things that are more easily fixed and obvious. Intangibles (effects of tangibles) are often harder to see and involve things that we usually do not have control over. (nature, war, people, sickness, accidents, death, etc.). They are things however that greatly impact our lives; getting us worked up and zap energy. Sometimes it is a matter of recognizing the intangible that is holding us back and letting go of it. (Knowing how counter productive it is and how much it can slow us down.)
When we are living a life with our intrinsic values being met; everything seems to come with greater ease and less effort. We will have more energy, because what is important to us (values) are being fed. We tend to have feelings that are less negative and more positive because again we are not in conflict with our values and we have momentum. Values, energy & feelings are key. When we position ourselves in a way that our values are being met, we are getting energy and aware of our feelings; there is a natural progression. When this area is ignored it is often a subtle source that distracts and derails us from moving toward our goal.
FOCUS: Write your main goal: ____________________________________________________________
- How are your values present in this goal?
- How can you engage more of your values in this goal?
- How can you use your natural energy to give you a boost in reaching your goal?
- Knowing your energy sources, how can you get more energy to support you in reaching your goal?
- What are your feelings about this goal? Notice negative and positive ones and what is driving that.
- What purpose does the negative serve? What is something to be thankful for about this?
- How will you feel when this goal is accomplished?
- What shifts do you need to make that will position your feelings to support your goal?
- What new perspective could you look at this from? (What would your dog/cat say about it? Your boss? Your fearless self? Etc.)
- Review this environment
- Schedule a coaching session if you want additional support to get clear on your top 4 values
- Explore the questions for yourself & then brainstorm regarding your goal
- Start to identify some ways to use values, energy and feelings to support your goal
- Write questions you have for the group
- Draft a few steps you could take this week to move you closer to your goal!