We are in a season in which activities and demands are picking up. There are more schedules to manage and more pulls on our time. In general, we want to be helpful and accommodating to people. As a result, we hate to say “No.” People often do anything to avoid this word: We will avoid people, redirect conversations, make excuses, be non-committal, or simply say “Yes” to things we know we will have a hard time following through on. The reality of the situation is that we simply cannot do everything. When we keep saying “Yes” to things, we are adding on more stuff to our plate, which causes stress, frustration, and an overwhelmed feeling. Even though we would like to answer “Yes” to everything, in order to have a peaceful life that contains quality, balance and basic sanity; we must learn how to say “No.”
How do you do it? When you say “Yes” to a new activity, you have to say “No” to remove something else that is already on your full plate. Here is how:
1. Be clear on your priorities and what is important. If you are not clear, you will not have a compelling reason to say “No” when you feel drawn to accept a new item on your plate. Try to strike a balance with the Essential Eight: family, friends, work, health, budgeting, fun, physical space (home, office, car), and personal growth (spiritual, educational, personal development). For example, for family, you could commit to spending five hours a day taking care of your family and making sure their needs are met, and for work you could commit to spending eight hours a day working on projects that produce an income of $5000/month in order to provide for your family.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Great advice. First time I’ve heard of the “essential 8″. Like the prioritization aspect of saying ‘no’. I have several ‘no’ opportunities. I’ll use this approach.
Thanks!
Warren